Day 6 - Love Dare - Love is Not Irritable

Update - after I posted my blog last night David asked me what 3 things about him irritated me. Wasn't quite sure how to handle that. I'm not going to tell you my answers because that's not what this is about, but it was really tough to come up with 3. 2 came to mind pretty easily, but the third - I kept thinking about things that irritate me, but they were tiny, silly things. I finally came up with something. I wanted to be honest because that's what I had asked of him, but I didn't want to hurt him - tough, tough, tough.

Dare: (this one is long)

1. Choose to react today to tough circumstances in my marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation.
2. Make a list of areas where I need to add margin to your schedule
3. List any wrong motivations that I need to release from my life.

Wow, okay, the timing on this is incredible. According to the authors one of the causes of irritability is stress. I was just telling David and some friends yesterday that I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed at work. DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER. I guess I am likely to let that translate into being really cranky. I'll have to really watch that.

The other source of irritability is selfishness, and boy, I definitely have that problem. I'm happy letting people take care of me while I do what I want to do. If someone makes me do something I don't want to do, I get cranky. I may still do it, but I am grumbling underneath.

Areas where I need to add margin to my schedule:

1. At work, take my breaks and lunch.
2. At work, delegate some of my work - ask for help.
3. At home, get off the computer and do housework and other tasks that need to be done so I don't feel rushed in the end.
4. Go to bed at a decent hour.

Motivations I need to release:

1. People need to take care of me (I can make food, I don't have to wait for David to make me something).
2. I work more hours than everyone else in the house combined so I shouldn't have to do housework.
3. I need to play on the computer to relax because work stresses me out.
4. My feelings are more important than everyone elses.
5. David always carries all the money and I have to ask him when I need any. He gets to buy things anytime he wants, I have to ask to buy things.

Guess I better get off the computer and get my housework done. We'll see how this day goes.

Results:

I knew today was going to be a test. Most of the day was fine. Since it was my day off, David did his usual getting home and needing to run errands and expecting me to go with him. I didn't say anything, just went. I have to say, it wasn't my choice of things to do and I had to keep remembering not to be irritated. It still happened because David would open the window and it was hot. Also, David driving with me in the car is the epitome of me being irritated. I still did fairly well though. Even though I didn't show it, I knew I was irritated.

Then we had a few hours of peace. Shawn and I worked on updating the operating system on my laptop. Shawn thought it would go faster if we hooked it straight up to the ethernet rather than have it download through the wireless router. It was still going to take 3 - 4 hours. When it was 90% done, David comes out of the bedroom and starts looking up stuff on the internet on the desktop computer. That almost stopped the download. Then it took forever for that last 10%. In David's defense, we didn't tell him that he almost derailed 3 1/2 hours worth of work. I could only wait while the thing was loading so I was playing on my iPhone while David surfed the web. When David was done, he turned around and said, "Are you going to stay up all night?" in his usual gruff tone. That was it, irritation hit at the full level. I count today as a failure - have to try it again.