Day 13 - Love Dare - Love fights fair

Dare:
Talk to David about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If David isn't ready for this, write out my own personal rules to "fight" by. Abide by these when the next disagreement occurs.

Okay, well, David will tell you that we never fight. And we don't in the normal sense of the word, but it doesn't mean that's healthy. We ignore conflict - or I should say - I ignore conflict. I've always said David doesn't fight fairly. I tried fighting with him once and David just turned things around and it was my fault and he was really mean about it. Maybe it was my fault - can't remember what the issue was - but my ego was damaged and I determined I just wasn't going to fight. Did that fix things? Not really. I hold my feelings inside and seeth and steam and eventually seem to get over it. I wish I could talk with David and let him know without it always being turned around to me.

So, maybe establishing "fight" rules might help me do that. I know it would be healthier for our marriage if we could get things out. I usually know how David feels but he doesn't know how I feel. Not healthy - and selfish on both our parts. I'm avoiding conflict and I'm good at that.

Result:
I just couldn't bring myself up to talking to David about fighting - avoiding it again. The one rule that I think I need for myself is to express my feelings. But I want to do it in a way that it doesn't set David off. You know, I'm afraid of him. He would never physically hurt me. But he can be very sharp tongued and I don't want that directed at me. That sharp tongue stings and my ego bruises very easily. Yet, I know it still isn't healthy for me to hold my feelings inside. I will try to talk to him about fighting again today. I need to do this.